Grief’s Five: The Essential Pillars of Healing.
Grief is a deeply personal and often overwhelming journey. It can consume your energy, alter your perception of the world, and make even the most basic self-care practices feel like monumental tasks. While there is no roadmap to healing, there are five foundational elements—what I call Grief’s Five—that can help support you during this difficult time: sleep, nutrition, hydration, exercise, and socialization. These pillars serve as gentle guides to sustaining your well-being while navigating loss.
1. Sleep: Restoring the Mind and Body.
Grief disrupts sleep in profound ways. You may find yourself lying awake for hours, waking up frequently, or experiencing vivid dreams. While grief-related insomnia is common, prioritizing rest is essential for emotional resilience. Try to create a calming nighttime routine—limit screen time, practice deep breathing, and establish a consistent sleep schedule. If sleep continues to evade you, gentle movement, guided meditations, or talking to a professional may help restore a sense of balance.
2. Nutrition: Fueling the Healing Process.
Loss can take away your appetite or push you toward emotional eating. Both extremes can deplete your energy and make it harder to cope. Focus on small, nourishing meals rich in whole foods—fruits, vegetables, proteins, and healthy fats. If cooking feels overwhelming, consider simple, easy-to-prepare foods like smoothies, soups, or pre-cut snacks. Remember, eating is not just about sustenance; it’s about giving your body the tools it needs to process grief.
3. Hydration: The Simple Act of Nourishing Yourself.
Hydration is often overlooked but is one of the most crucial acts of self-care in grief. Dehydration can exacerbate fatigue, headaches, and mood swings, making emotional regulation even harder. Keep a water bottle nearby and sip throughout the day. Herbal teas, broths, and infused water can also be gentle, hydrating options if plain water feels unappealing. Drinking water is a small but significant reminder that you are still tending to yourself.
4. Exercise: Moving Through the Pain.
Grief often brings a heavy, immobilizing feeling, making movement seem impossible. Yet, gentle exercise—whether it’s stretching, walking, or yoga—can help release tension and boost endorphins. Movement doesn’t need to be intense; it just needs to be intentional. If going outside feels too much, even standing up and stretching for a few minutes can make a difference. Your body holds grief; movement allows it to flow.
5. Socialization: Seeking Connection in Isolation.
Loss can make you want to withdraw, and while solitude has its place in grieving, isolation can deepen despair. Even small moments of connection—whether through a phone call, a text, or a short visit—can remind you that you are not alone. You don’t have to engage in deep conversations; sometimes, simply sitting with someone or sharing a meal in silence is enough. If in-person socialization feels overwhelming, online support groups, therapy, or journaling your thoughts to share later can be a starting point.
Honoring Your Own Pace.
Grief is not linear, and there is no perfect way to navigate it. Some days, you might find it easier to prioritize one of these pillars over another—and that’s okay. The goal is not perfection but gentle awareness. Tending to Grief’s Five—sleep, nutrition, hydration, exercise, and socialization—creates a foundation for healing, helping you move forward without forcing the process.
Even in the depths of sorrow, small acts of self-care remind you that you are still here, still deserving of kindness, and still capable of healing in your own time.
Feeling Your Way through Loss.
Talking with a grief counselor can be deeply healing. You can be, act, emote any way you need in a safe and confidential environment.
Share this blog post, if you think a friend or loved one could benefit from talking to someone.
Lisa A. Rainwater, PhD, MA (couns), LCMHC, CCMHC, CCTP, CT is the owner of Rainwater Counseling in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, where she provides depth psychotherapy and relational attachment and grief counseling to individuals and couples. She earned a master’s in German Studies from the University of Oregon; a master’s in Counseling from Wake Forest University; and a doctorate in German and Scandinavian Studies from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. Lisa holds certification in Jungian and Post-Jungian Clinical Concepts from the Centre of Applied Jungian Studies. She is a Certified Dialogue Therapist for Couples — a psychoanalytic and mindfulness-based couples modality. Lisa is a Certified Thanatologist in Death, Dying, and Bereavement through the Association of Death Education and Counseling and has trained at the Portland Institute for Loss and Transition in Grief Therapy as Meaning Reconstruction.
She is licensed to practice in North Carolina, Colorado, and Wisconsin.
