Real Dialogue Consultation.

Learning How to Break Down Polarization.

Polarization profoundly impacts humanity by entrenching divisions and fostering an environment where mutual understanding and cooperation become increasingly difficult. It exacerbates conflicts by emphasizing differences rather than commonalities, leading to social fragmentation and the breakdown of communal bonds. In families, polarization can cause estrangement and tension, while in workplaces, it undermines collaboration and productivity. Within organizations and cultures, polarization can erode trust, impair decision-making, and create dysfunction, ultimately stalling progress and innovation. On a broader scale, polarized societies struggle to address collective challenges effectively, as partisan gridlock and resistance to compromise impede the development of inclusive and sustainable solutions. This erosion of social cohesion and collaborative spirit hinders humanity's ability to address pressing global issues, from climate change to social justice, ultimately threatening the well-being and advancement of societies worldwide.

Real Dialogue Consultation.

As a Certified Real Dialogue specialist, I provide consultations to families, businesses, and organization seeking to learn the skill to facilitate difficult conversations first with a facilitator and then on their own—ensuring productive and meaningful dialogue. The Center for Real Dialogue trains and certifies Real Dialogue specialists who are highly qualified to facilitate humans working on a conflict through the four skills:

1. Speak for Yourself

2. Listening Mindfully

3. Paraphrase Sincerely

4. Remaining Curious

These four skills reduce feelings of apprehension and defensiveness, encourage subjectivity and a reduction in emotionally-laden projective identification, and promote respect, differentiation, and honesty.

What is Real Dialogue?

Founded by Polly Young-Eisendrath, PhD, Real Dialogue is a movement to counteract stereotyping, racism, bias, polarization, and dehumanization; it is a method of co-facilitated conversation outside the therapy room with the aim of seeing, hearing, and feeling another as a human being with respect. As we gain greater understanding of our human counterparts, we can gain greater respect for our differences. Real Dialogue refers to a structured method of communication designed to address difficult conversations effectively. It integrates techniques from mindfulness, psychodrama, and psychoanalysis to foster open, honest, and empathetic communication. Real Dialogue aims to create a safe space for participants to explore and resolve conflicts, misunderstandings, and challenging topics. Through advanced training, individuals learn to facilitate these conversations either on their own or with a co-facilitator, ensuring productive and meaningful dialogue.

How Does It Work?

Real Dialogue sessions are often beneficial for others in the setting to observe, as it allows the entire community, family, or team to see, hear, and understand both sides of the conflict. When working as consultants, Real Dialogue specialists create a formal structure for these sessions, which typically last 1 to 2 hours and may continue for three to four meetings.

Real Dialogue consultations are comprised of up to five activities:

1. An Evaluation (opening discussion, empathy interview, possibly Relational History)

2. Six Questions

3. Working on a Conflict (Coaching, Facilitating, Doubling/Alter-Ego, Unblocking, and Reflections)

4. Wrap-Up

5. Role Reversal

One of the strengths of Real Dialogue is that it aims only for differentiation and Witnessing, but not for compromise or solutions … all the same, changes might happen as RD clears up the confusions, projections, and misapprehensions between the dialogue partners.

~ Polly Young-Eisendrath, PhD

Understanding and addressing projective identification is crucial to reducing polarization across the globe. By exploring these unconscious projections, Real Dialogue specialists can help individuals gain insight into their own internal conflicts and the ways in which they influence their relationships. This awareness allows people to disentangle themselves from the projections of others, fostering healthier interpersonal dynamics and reducing emotional distress. Ultimately, recognizing and working through projective identification can lead to more authentic and constructive interactions, both in therapy and in everyday relationships.