Why Buffalo?
Family Bonding
In the summer of 1971, my family set out on a road trip. My brother was just shy of a year old, I was just shy of three years young. We left our small rural Wisconsin town to head west. Our destination: The Badlands. We arrived and soon found these majestic mammals roaming the plains just outside our car. My mom snapped the picture as we were in motion, and I was squealing with delight in the backseat with my baby brother.
“Look, it’s wuffalo,” I supposedly hollered out.
Five decades later, I still, at heart, call them wuffalo, even though I know the accurate name is the American Bison.
It was a once-in-a-lifetime family trip for the four of us. Nine years later, my parents separated, and life changed forever. It was my first experience of loss and grief.
As a child of divorce and a partner of divorce, I understand the feelings of disintegration and capacity for growth that comes from family changes.
MY WILLOBY
Willoby’s first puppy toy was a stuffed buffalo. I called it “Willy’s Wuffalo.” It was the only one he did not destroy…
After two years of lymphoma survivorship, Willoby, my beloved German Shepard/Ridgeback dog, relapsed in the spring of 2022. As difficult as it was, I made the humane choice to give him a peaceful death over a painful, natural death. Dr. Jarvis and her team at Oldtown Veterinary Hospital were compassionate, loving, and kind throughout his treatment and his death.
He lived a long and happy life!
…Willy’s Wuffalo now presides over our living room in the bookcase, watching his brothers romp and play.
As a pet parent, I understand the enormous sense of loss that comes with the death of a pet.
Be the Buffalo
A year into the COVID-19 pandemic, the New York Times published a prescient article entitled, “There is No Vaccine for Grief,” by A.C. Shilton. I read with fear, sadness, and concern that our collective grief over those who died from the coronavirus could be long-lasting and debilitating.
David Kessler, a grief expert who worked with Dr. Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, compared human grief work to buffalo storm work: We need to run into the grief storm, like buffalo run into the ice storm because trying to escape it is futile and depletes our resources.
As a grief counselor, I walk with my grief clients through the storm, encouraging them to be the buffalo.
