Projective identification is a psychological concept originally developed in psychoanalytic theory by Melanie Klein. [1] It describes a process in which an individual projects unwanted aspects of themselves, such as feelings, thoughts, or traits, onto another person. This projection is not just a simple displacement but also involves the other person unconsciously identifying with and internalizing these projected aspects. This process can affect both the projector and the recipient, often leading to complex and sometimes dysfunctional interpersonal dynamics.

Key Aspects of Projective Identification.

Projection: The individual unconsciously attributes their own unacceptable feelings or thoughts to another person. This helps the projector manage internal conflicts by externalizing them.
Induction: The person onto whom the feelings or traits are projected may start to experience and even exhibit these projected aspects as if they are their own.
Identification: The recipient unconsciously identifies with the projected feelings or traits, internalizing them and behaving in ways that reflect the projection.
Interpersonal Dynamics: This process can create a powerful and often confusing dynamic between the individuals involved. The projector may feel a temporary relief from their internal conflict, while the recipient may struggle with the new, imposed feelings or behaviors.

In relationships, projective identification can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and significant emotional distress as individuals unconsciously project their own unwanted feelings or traits onto others. This can create a confusing dynamic where the recipient of the projection begins to experience and act upon these imposed emotions or characteristics, often exacerbating the original conflict. However, this process can also foster a sense of closeness or intimacy, as the projector and recipient become emotionally intertwined, sharing an unspoken, yet powerful, psychological connection.

Understanding and addressing projective identification is crucial to reducing the vast polarization that has blanketed the globe. In the 21st century, countries, states, political parties, corporations, communities, and families are engaging in literal and figurative war. By exploring these unconscious projections, Dialogue therapists and Real Dialogue specialists can help people gain insight into their own internal conflicts and the ways in which they influence their relationships. This awareness allows clients to disentangle themselves from the projections of others, fostering healthier interpersonal dynamics and reducing emotional distress. Ultimately, recognizing and working through projective identification can lead to more authentic and constructive interactions, both in therapy, consultation, and in everyday relationships.

Examples of Projective Identification.

Projective Identification in extended Families.

A certified Dialogue Therapist or Real Dialogue specialist [2] can play a pivotal role in addressing conflicts between two family members by guiding them through a structured and empathic communication process. Initially, the specialist might meet with each family member separately to understand their individual perspectives, emotions, and concerns. This preparatory phase helps the specialist to identify the core issues and underlying dynamics that contribute to the conflict.

In the facilitated session, the specialist establishes ground rules to ensure a respectful and safe environment for open communication. These rules include mindful listening and remaining curious. The specialist begins by encouraging one family member to express their feelings and viewpoint about the conflict. This allows the individual to articulate their subjective experience and concerns in a controlled setting.

As the first family member speaks, the specialist guides the other member to listen mindfully and paraphrase what they have heard to confirm their understanding. It can be helpful to end the paraphrase with, “Did I get that?” This process helps to validate the speaker’s feelings and reduces the likelihood of miscommunication. The specialist then facilitates a discussion where the second family member shares their perspective, ensuring that they also receive the same level of mindful listening, validation, and curiosity.

Throughout the dialogue, the specialist would help both parties identify and address any underlying emotional needs or misconceptions that may have contributed to the conflict. By reframing negative perceptions and clarifying misunderstandings, the specialist assists both family members in gaining a deeper understanding of each other’s viewpoints.

The specialist might also introduce techniques for managing and expressing emotions constructively, and help the family members develop strategies for resolving similar issues in the future. This could include creating agreements for how to handle conflicts moving forward and establishing communication practices that promote understanding and respect.

Following the session, the specialist may offer ongoing support, such as additional meetings or follow-up sessions, to reinforce positive changes and ensure that the conflict resolution process remains effective. By facilitating empathetic and open dialogue, the Real Dialogue specialist helps the family members develop a stronger, more supportive relationship, improving their overall family dynamics and fostering a more harmonious home environment.

Projective Identification in A community Center.

Imagine a community center where a volunteer, Justin, feels unappreciated and undervalued due to his own insecurities and past experiences. Instead of recognizing these feelings as stemming from within, Justin unconsciously projects them onto the center’s director, Ms. Velasquez. He starts to believe that Ms. Velasquez is deliberately ignoring his contributions and undervaluing his efforts.

Justion’s perception influences his behavior, leading him to become resentful and withdrawn during meetings and activities. He might interpret Ms. Velasquez’s busy schedule or neutral comments as evidence of her disregard for his work. In response to Justin’s changed behavior, Ms. Velasquez might notice his lack of enthusiasm and engagement, leading her to actually pay less attention to Justin’s contributions, thus inadvertently reinforcing his original projection.

This dynamic creates a strained relationship where Justin feels increasingly alienated and Ms. Velasquez becomes frustrated with what she perceives as Justin’s lack of commitment. The overall atmosphere at the community center can become tense, affecting not just Justin and Ms. Velasquez but also other volunteers and participants who sense the underlying conflict.

A Real Dialogue specialist could facilitate the resolution of projective identification at the community center by creating a structured, safe, and supportive environment where both Justin and Ms. Velasquez can openly express their feelings and perspectives. Initially, the specialist would meet individually with Justin and Ms. Velasquez to understand their viewpoints, underlying emotions, and specific concerns. This preparation sets the stage for a meaningful dialogue.

In the facilitation session, the specialist would establish ground rules to ensure respect and active listening, creating a safe space for both parties. Justin would be encouraged to speak first, articulating his feelings and experiences in his own words, while Ms. Velasquez listens actively without interruption. The RD specialist would guide Ms. Velasquez to reflect back what she hears to validate Justin’s feelings. Through careful reframing and clarification, the RD specialist would help address any negative perceptions and misunderstandings. After Justin has shared his perspective, Ms. Velasquez would respond, providing validation and recognition, and his own feelings and experiences. The RD specialist would guide the conversation to uncover unconscious dynamics, helping both parties understand how projective identification has influenced their interactions.

Following the session, the RD specialist may assist in developing action plans to improve their relationship and communication, which might include regular check-ins and feedback sessions. Ongoing support, such as additional facilitated sessions or individual coaching, would ensure that positive changes are sustained and integrated into the community center’s culture. By facilitating open and empathetic communication, the Real Dialogue specialist helps Justin and Ms. Velasquez develop a deeper understanding of each other’s perspectives and unconscious dynamics. This process fosters mutual respect and support, leading to a more harmonious and effective working relationship. The improved dynamics between them can positively influence the overall atmosphere of the community center, benefiting all members involved.

Projective Identification in the Work Environment.

Projective identification can occur in a workplace setting, such as when an employee projects their own insecurities and fears onto their boss. Here’s an example:

An employee, Amelie, feels deeply insecure about her job performance and fears that she is not competent enough to succeed. Unable to cope with these feelings, Amelie unconsciously projects her sense of incompetence onto her boss, Mx. Smith. Amelie starts to believe that Mx. Smith is overly critical and demanding, constantly scrutinizing her work and doubting her abilities.

As a result, Amelie might begin to behave defensively and anxiously around Mx. Smith, interpreting their neutral or even supportive feedback as negative and critical. Over time, Mx. Smith may start to sense Amelie’s anxiety and defensiveness, which might cause them to genuinely become more critical or frustrated, thereby validating Amelie’s original projection.

This dynamic can create a tense and uncomfortable working relationship. Amelie feels misunderstood and unfairly judged, while Mx. Smith struggles to understand why Amelie reacts so negatively to their feedback. Addressing this projective identification with a Real Dialogue Consultation can help Amelie and Mx. Smith gain insight into their behaviors and improve their professional relationship.

Notes

[1] Klein, M. (1946). Notes on some schizoid mechanisms. The International Journal of Psychoanalysis, 27, 99–110.

[2] Pieniadz, Jean & Young-Eisendrath, Polly. (2021). Dialogue Therapy for Couples and Real Dialogue for Opposing Sides: Methods Based on Psychoanalysis and Mindfulness. 10.4324/9781003200840.